The move to the new house was a time consuming task, as we only had my one pick-up truck and my small hatch-back car. Thankfully the new house was only a few streets away from the old, crappy, no running water, rotting house. And I moved furniture and boxes out of the old place like my ass was on fire. I could not get away from that place fast enough.
The new house was bright, happy, warm and inviting. It smelled clean, fresh and it gave me a renewed sense of life and hope. I would stand in the kitchen just to feel the warm rays of sunshine on my face that were beaming through the back door, drink in the soft scent of freshly washed curtains, while breathing a contented sigh. This time it would not be just a house, but a home. I could feel it in every fiber of my body. And it felt good.
One afternoon after unpacking some more boxes, Josh decided that he'd rather go out with Gerald than help me. Since that was nothing new, I just asked when he'd be home. Josh ignored my question, got a major attitude and stormed out of the house...taking the keys to MY car and driving off in a cloud of dust. That son-of-a-bitch did it again. We had the discussion months ago about him taking my car without asking and it was agreed that he'd ask from now on, as it was not HIS car to take. So much for that discussion. Yet another promise he'd made to me was broken, shattered like an eggshell that's been ravaged by a raccoon.
When he finally came back (early the next morning), he was so drunk he could barely walk. I have no clue how he drove my car home and didn't get into an accident or get pulled over by the cops. I was furious. Josh did whatever the f*ck he wanted to and I had to stay at home because according to his rules, I could not go out, have friends or leave the house without his permission. Well guess what...I've had enough of this shit. I don't care how big and violent his fat ass is...I'm putting my foot down and not tolerating this any more.
I'd had enough of his drinking. When we lived in the apartment, his drinking got worse and he was more open with it. Then when we moved to the rental house, he began drinking all the time and didn't give a rat's ass what I said about it. I got smacked if I said anything. Of course the stupid mother-f*cker always wanted to molest me when he was drunk as a fart. Wanna talk about gross? Being forced to have sex with a drunk, fat, stinky, abusive man...and on top of it all (no pun intended) he had a super small "member". I shit you not. When he'd lay down, the bitch would disappear in the mass of fat rolls. Are you feeling my pain now?
While still living in the apartment, one day he got so drunk before we were supposed to go to Laura & Gerald's for dinner, that I drove him to their house, dropped his ass off in front of their house and hauled ass back home. You should've seen the look on his face when he shut my truck door and I put her in gear and took off like a shot from a cannon! Of course he proceeded to call me every few minutes on my cell phone begging me to come get him, sniveling and telling me he'd stop drinking. I said "hell no, we're through, stay there and never, ever come back".
The next day after that incident, Laura called me and asked me to reconsider. She said Josh had been miserable all night, broke down crying at one point and then drunk so much that he passed out on her couch. Laura was my best friend and very persuasive. I trusted her and never thought she'd put me in danger. After speaking with her for quite a long time, I agreed to give the relationship one final try - but the drinking had to stop and he had to meet me halfway on things. Of course the backstabbing bitch didn't tell me that Josh had pissed, puked and shit all over her couch while he was passed out. I found that out much, much later.
Fast forward to the new house...about one or two months after we moved in...the old behaviors are resurfacing at break-neck speed. One minute I'm living with a nice, charming, handsome, caring man and the next...I turn around to find I'm sharing a house with a violent criminal who is also a psychopath. Josh is drinking again, going out, not telling me where he's going or when he's coming home, stealing my car, not going to work, lying about everything and threatening me when I continually catch him up to no good and breaking promises. By this time, I'm scared to death and try my damndest to not upset him for fear of him beating the immortal shit out of me for opening my mouth and questioning him. I had to be careful how I looked at him too...he had a hair trigger and anything I said, did or wore would set him off. If I was breathing funny and he was in a bad mood...it spelled trouble for me.
The tension in the house was palpable. I walked on eggshells. I made sure I left for work at the exact same time every morning, came home right on time, and only ran errands or went to Laura & Gerald's house when he gave permission...or he went with me. Even a 5 minute variation in my schedule would peak his curiosity and he'd start accusing me of cheating with someone...and from there, the fights would get ugly. I didn't even have to participate to engage his wrath. Then came Valentine's Day...
To be continued...
Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Parents, Step-Parents and Children
I was once married to a man who had a vindictive ex-wife. They had 2 children. I won't get into specifics here, but my point is that when families mesh, it is completely inappropriate for the ex-wife to put the kids in the middle of the divorce and play them against their non-custodial father.
We had visitation with the kids every other weekend. When the ex decided that it was ok with her schedule. There were many times we'd drive the hour to her house and she'd say "nope, can't have them. I have other plans." It was always a big drama scene having to deal with the ex-wife. She told the kids that they did NOT have to respect me, even though I was supporting their dad and they were staying at my house, eating my food and terrorizing my animals. Yes, and she even admitted that to me one day when we had a blowout over the phone. When we had the kids, she made it a point to call at least 3 times a day just to be a pain in the ass. Oh and she'd instruct them to misbehave, disrespect me and look through my stuff and call her back with information. Nosy bitch - I still hate her even after all these years. She caused trouble whenever she could. The bullshit finally broke up my marriage. I couldn't take any more.
Long story short, it made for a horrible marriage and it put the poor kids in the middle. And it also put me in a bind because I had to deal with the disrespect in MY house. Thankfully one of the kids was nice to me (the son). The daughter was another story. She was just like her mother and snooped through my house (as she was instructed by the mother), went through personal items in my bedroom, bathroom, office and looked through my bills. I know because I caught her numerous times. Of course the father would not discipline her because he was afraid of his ex-wife and of her withholding visitation. He had no backbone when it came to the ex. I finally put my foot down and said no more. I was not going to be treated like that in my home. I did not dislike the child, I disliked the behavior - let me make that clear!
People, please do not make this same mistake. I beg of you, do not put the children in the middle of a divorce, new marriage, whatever the situation may be. It's not fair to the kids, nor the new step-parent. Also, ex-husbands...have the balls to stand up to your ex-wife instead of being a door-mat and making your new wife deal with the drama and bullshit. It's totally unacceptable!
Needless to say, I divorced him. It took seven (7) long years, but I finally got the money to divorce him. The son-of-a-bitch had me pay for his first divorce, his ex-wife's car, his outstanding loans...to the total of over $50,000. He said he'd pay me back and the mother-f**ker never paid me a penny. The majority of our problems were because of his ex-wife meddling, the fact that he lived off me, stuck me with HIS and his ex-wife's bills, cheated on me, well I won't go on. I'll continue this in another blog.
As you can tell, I still have a lot of pent up anger regarding this. There is so much more and I will continue this in another blog. I need to get my blood pressure down to a respectable level right now and stop writing this. I can feel my face getting hot, my heart is pounding out of my chest and I'm mad as hell right now! I was such a sucker for so long. Yes I blame ME - it's called Personal Accountability. More people ought to practice it. He screwed me over, but I let him. I was stupid, trusting, thought that the marriage vows actually meant something. I was a f*cking fool! And now I'm broke...trying to dig myself out of this hole and it's years later.
Where is he, you ask? He moved away, got remarried - to a FAT chick that looks like me, but with an extra 75 pounds. That's just messed up on so many levels. Good luck with him Honey! He loves to live off women, gamble (which he hides well), buy stuff for himself, rack up bills and then run like hell. Watch out! He will probably cheat on you too - but he doesn't go far. Keep an eye on your male friends' girlfriends. I've been there and I'm speaking from experience.
To be continued.......hey if you have thoughts or suggestions, please put them on here. I'd love to read them. I'd feel better knowing I'm not the only sucker out there!
We had visitation with the kids every other weekend. When the ex decided that it was ok with her schedule. There were many times we'd drive the hour to her house and she'd say "nope, can't have them. I have other plans." It was always a big drama scene having to deal with the ex-wife. She told the kids that they did NOT have to respect me, even though I was supporting their dad and they were staying at my house, eating my food and terrorizing my animals. Yes, and she even admitted that to me one day when we had a blowout over the phone. When we had the kids, she made it a point to call at least 3 times a day just to be a pain in the ass. Oh and she'd instruct them to misbehave, disrespect me and look through my stuff and call her back with information. Nosy bitch - I still hate her even after all these years. She caused trouble whenever she could. The bullshit finally broke up my marriage. I couldn't take any more.
Long story short, it made for a horrible marriage and it put the poor kids in the middle. And it also put me in a bind because I had to deal with the disrespect in MY house. Thankfully one of the kids was nice to me (the son). The daughter was another story. She was just like her mother and snooped through my house (as she was instructed by the mother), went through personal items in my bedroom, bathroom, office and looked through my bills. I know because I caught her numerous times. Of course the father would not discipline her because he was afraid of his ex-wife and of her withholding visitation. He had no backbone when it came to the ex. I finally put my foot down and said no more. I was not going to be treated like that in my home. I did not dislike the child, I disliked the behavior - let me make that clear!
People, please do not make this same mistake. I beg of you, do not put the children in the middle of a divorce, new marriage, whatever the situation may be. It's not fair to the kids, nor the new step-parent. Also, ex-husbands...have the balls to stand up to your ex-wife instead of being a door-mat and making your new wife deal with the drama and bullshit. It's totally unacceptable!
Needless to say, I divorced him. It took seven (7) long years, but I finally got the money to divorce him. The son-of-a-bitch had me pay for his first divorce, his ex-wife's car, his outstanding loans...to the total of over $50,000. He said he'd pay me back and the mother-f**ker never paid me a penny. The majority of our problems were because of his ex-wife meddling, the fact that he lived off me, stuck me with HIS and his ex-wife's bills, cheated on me, well I won't go on. I'll continue this in another blog.
As you can tell, I still have a lot of pent up anger regarding this. There is so much more and I will continue this in another blog. I need to get my blood pressure down to a respectable level right now and stop writing this. I can feel my face getting hot, my heart is pounding out of my chest and I'm mad as hell right now! I was such a sucker for so long. Yes I blame ME - it's called Personal Accountability. More people ought to practice it. He screwed me over, but I let him. I was stupid, trusting, thought that the marriage vows actually meant something. I was a f*cking fool! And now I'm broke...trying to dig myself out of this hole and it's years later.
Where is he, you ask? He moved away, got remarried - to a FAT chick that looks like me, but with an extra 75 pounds. That's just messed up on so many levels. Good luck with him Honey! He loves to live off women, gamble (which he hides well), buy stuff for himself, rack up bills and then run like hell. Watch out! He will probably cheat on you too - but he doesn't go far. Keep an eye on your male friends' girlfriends. I've been there and I'm speaking from experience.
To be continued.......hey if you have thoughts or suggestions, please put them on here. I'd love to read them. I'd feel better knowing I'm not the only sucker out there!
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