Saturday, August 29, 2009

No Trespassing - Violators Will Be Shot

Please tell me...why do I bother putting up No Trespassing signs on my property? Either people are really stupid, can't read or are just testing my hand/eye coordination. I don't get it. I own a small house on a small piece of land, and have had to post signs at the end of my driveway, on my front door and on the neighbor's property (which I maintain because they are elderly). Yet some idiots still feel the sudden urge to pull into my driveway, sit there for a minute looking around and then back out and go away. Either that or they feel the need to come walking up into my yard and ring the doorbell (where the 2nd huge freakin yellow sign is). The best ones are the folks who walk on up into the yard when I'm outside cutting grass or planting shrubs...these morons are the best. When I'm outside I'm always armed - usually a .45mm strapped to my thigh in my tactical thigh holster or a .38 in my shoulder holster. It depends on the season. These morons come walking up, past the signs and start asking me (usually) "is this house for sale" or "do you live here"? WTF? Are you trying to get shot and/or piss me off?

Does anyone else out there have this same problem? I've even gone so far as to call the local police because one particular jackass, who came to cut the grass for the guy across the street, pulled into my driveway, drove over my grass and into my neighbor's yard to use his driveway to exit. Mind you they are cutting the grass for the dude ACROSS the street. They killed my grass, rutted my yard and pissed me off. I told them once before, nicely, to stay off my property. This second time I wasn't so nice. I went outside and told them if they didn't get the f*ck off the property, they were going to be sorry. Yes the neighbor's house has No Trespassing signs all over the place too. I've now had to put up the neighbor's gates to block access to and from his driveway. Also since some other idiot backed into it, messing it up, I had to use my tie-down straps and some Fire Line Do Not Cross tape I happened to have to keep the gates up. What the hell is wrong with people? Are they just NOT getting the message that we want to be left alone?

Back to the police part. I called them, reported the damage and said if these assholes ever came on my property again, I'd handle it my way. The police went out and looked and called me back. They said there was nothing they could do unless I called when they were there and then they'd be cited for trespassing. Ooooh yea, that'll scare them! In other words, they are useless as teats on a boar hog. I will handle it myself, as usual.

I, personally, respect those signs. If someone has them posted, it means they don't want your stupid ass on the property. Duh. Some folks, like me, just don't want to be bothered when they are home. I like my privacy, peace and tranquility and if you're not invited and pull up in my driveway, don't be surprised when I answer the door with a gun strapped to my hip. Even my friends know, and my husband too, let me know if you are coming over or if you are coming home at an odd time. Otherwise, you stand a very good chance of getting hurt. I don't play anymore. Trespassers will be shot...survivors shot again!

1 comment:

  1. I am having same problems but with kids egging my house from their backyard. It started with them egging it the back where I cant see it if I dont go out there then I caught them with a camera. The parents laughed and made them clean it then the backyard egging started so I called the cops they are 12 he said sorry I cant do anything as egg poored down my 11 year old windows. I then lauged and told the dad and cop if they step foot on my yard again or egg my house from afar I will shoot them in the legs with my bb gun and watch them fall like flys! Im a fellon from my teenage days so I cant own a real gun but my 100 dollar air rifle can hit a target from a hundred yards perfectly and I have all the time in the world to watch and wait for the right time. I cant wait to settle this my way since The law wont! You forgot to mention what state your in im in Illinois