Monday, August 31, 2009

Speed Limits and Obnoxious People

Did you ever notice that during the summer months, people seem to forget how to read the speed limit signs in little, residential neighborhoods? I know I have noticed it on my street and I can't just blame other peoples' kids.

I was cutting the grass this morning when suddenly I got buzzed by a jerk speeding down the road. I was standing at the edge of my property getting ready to cut another stripe in my lawn. And yes I did look both ways continually as I approached the endge of the property. I turned around in time to catch the make, model and color the truck after I felt the strong breeze blow by my legs. By the way, the speed limit on my street is a mere 25 mph. Sure enough this asshole came screaming by again - guessing he was doing about 45 going into the curve - and I yelled at him to slow down. Guess was an older guy, not an obnoxious kid driving! This time I caught the license plate and I recognized it. I'll have a civilized chat with this doorknob later. He doesn't even live in the neighborhood.

Not too long after that, I feel another car coming down the road. Yes feel, as in thump...thump...thump...of a car radio with way too much bass. I look to my left (mind you I'm wearing ear buds so I can listen to my music without disturbing my neighbors), and here comes this little black car with the windows shaking and some slouched down tool driving. Unbelievable. The stupidity and ignorance never stops.

I always wished I could get a paintball gun and shoot at these idiots as they fly down my street, endangering people and property. There are a lot of folks who go for walks at all hours of the day and evening and it's getting dangerous on these little residential streets. The same goes for the stereo-blasters of the universe. I'd like to tag their damn cars with the same paintball gun. Maybe a few pink dots on their vehicles will let them know that their speeding and radio blasting is not appreciated by the general public. If I want to hear rap music, I'll ask you!!

Spike strips would work well for the speeders. As they fly by breaking the space/time continuum, the spike strips would pop out and shred their tires. Do you think they'd get the hint then? You're right, probably not. All the laws in the world won't stop these morons. Especially when the laws are not enforced.

The local cops where I live aren't that much better either. There are a few who speed up and down the roads like they own them. Hell, one of the idiots almost ran me over while I was walking my dog one day! The son-of-a-bitch was driving towards me, yet he was so busy yakking on his cell phone that he didn't care to steer his vehicle to the left a little. We were walking right on the edge of the road so as not to be in the way, and facing traffic. At the last minute, I had to grab my dog and jump in the ditch on the side of the road. Yes I did flip the asshole off...did he notice...NO. He was still having a great time gabbing on the phone like a teenage girl. Un-freakin-believable.

You watch, I will probably get hassled because I am writing this. The paintball guns and spike strips are things I WISH I could do. At no time do I say "I will" or "I have". Please. With my luck, something bad would happen to me if I tried it such as the paintballs exploding in my face or the spike strips bouncing back and embedding themselves into my calves. That's the kind of luck I have. I can think about stuff all I want to, but I know better than to act upon it. For the most part. Happy motoring!

As this is being written, yet another yutz is speeding by in a white Ford Continental with spinners, tinted windows and the radio blaring the loud bass. It's sad when you can hear the cars before you see them. Inconsiderate morons!

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