Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My Screwed Up Life - Part 1

Ha! I know y'all can relate to that title. This will be the first installment of many screwed up situations that come from my life. These stories are absolutely true with no embellishment whatsoever. Trust me...I don't need to embellish, the stories are freaky enough. I am putting all of these into a book as well. When it's done, I'll let you know.

Where to a child, I had a father (and I use the term loosely) who was very abusive. I refer to him as the sperm donor. He does not deserve to be called father or dad or anything nice. I'll leave out here what he did to my Mother and just tell you what he did to me.

I learned at a very young age that children are supposed to be seen and not heard. If I didn't move fast enough or if I said something to the sperm donor's dislike, I got the shit beat out of me. My Mother would try her best to intervene. That would just piss him off even more and then he would attack her. His favorite thing was to hit me in the head. I was forever trying to hide bruises, I had horrible headaches, nightmares and flinched at every sound and every time someone moved quickly. Finally at the age of 5, my parents divorced. And that started a whole storm of violence, threats, terrorizing of the family. The sperm donor was and is crazy, psychotic and a very violent person. For that reason, I cannot go back to the state where I was born for fear of him killing he so often promised he would.

My Mother and I had to move around frequently because he would always find us and the terror would start anew. It was a never ending cycle. He repeatedly threatened to kidnap me, kill me and my Mother, hurt members of our family (even my Grandmother!) and was always following us, watching us. When he wasn't available to stalk and threaten us, he had his friends from his motorcycle gang do it for him. I know, how sweet. I can't count the number of times we had scary men knocking on our doors at all hours of the day and night just to threaten my Mother.

I was a mere helpless child at the time. Unfortunately, my childhood was lost because he stole that from me. I had to grow up before my time so I could be big and strong and protect my Mommy. The things that bastard did to makes me so enraged to even think about it now. He's damn lucky I believe in Karma or else I would've taken great pleasure in making his birth certificate a worthless f*cking document years ago.

To be continued tomorrow....

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