Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Seriously...Who Would've Thought?

I'm one of those folks people love to hate. My whole entire life has been planned out since I was about 5 years old...by me. I knew what I wanted to do, where I was going to go to school, how I was going to be happy, who I was going to marry, the whole kit-n-kaboodle. Well the marriage part was an option - the owning of many animals a non-negotiable factor. The odd part is now that I'm almost 40, yes go ahead and laugh - if you're not there you will be soon enough and you'll know what I mean, I have no clue as to what I want to do for a career.

Unemployment came as a mild shock in June of 2009. I had a feeling it was coming. Don't get me wrong - I was complimented almost daily on the job I did, but one or two of the "higher-ups" didn't like my personality. Oh and I didn't drive a new car, or have kids, or wear expensive jewelry, or go to the best parties or have the biggest house in the most expensive subdivision. You get the picture. I live in a small house that I made into a home, drive a well kept but older pickup truck, wear regular clothes (and hate shopping), volunteer my time for my community and am just down to earth.

I'm not sorry I lost my job either. I was "let go" and was told that my position was being eliminated. Which come to find out, it most certainly was not. They lied to me and to the other employees. But I decided to let it go since it's just not worth my time. I do not put up fronts or pretend I'm rich or try to fit in...I am ME. It's the way I was raised. I have a low tolerance for those who are "pretenders", liars, deceivers and all out fakes. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

The funny thing is here I am, contemplating the rest of my life in this topsy-turvy world, in a recession with a bad outlook for the job market. As I look back on my resume, I realize I have done a whole lot with my life and have many experiences with various companies. What I am doing is weeding through all that and trying to figure out when I was happiest. Yes - happiest, not the wealthiest.

I'm at the point in my life that I'm sick and tired of working with/for people who have the "what's in it for me" attitude. It's time for ME to be happy. Hell I never said I wanted to be rich, even when I was 5 years old and planning out my life. My main concern was being happy and being nice to those who needed help. All that without being a doormat (as my wonderful Dad used to always tell me).

Who would've thought that I would be at a crossroads right now and would need to take time for self-reflection, introspection, family and faith? I got quite a wake up call and I am glad. I've worked like a dog my whole life, usually 2 jobs at once and going to school, and what has it done to me? I realized that my Mom and Grandma were right. If I don't slow down soon, I'm going to miss life. Guess what? I have missed a hell of a lot. And for that, I am truly sorry.

The time is now. I am searching for work that makes me happy and will pay what few bills I have, not make me rich. I want to and need to spend time with my family before life goes by any faster. All of my grandparents are deceased (all 6 of them), I have no siblings, and my wonderful parents are not in the best health. Life's too short to be making everyone else happy and putting my needs aside as I've always done. I'm taking life one day at a time and I'm going to finally live!

I'd like to ask you out there - when is the last time you took stock of your life and realized it's not all about the money - or pleasing everyone else? Live life, be healthy, happy and treasure your family and friends. They will be gone sooner than you expect.

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