Saturday, October 3, 2009

My Psycho Stalker - Part 1

Here's the story that quite a few folks have asked me to write about. It's painful, scary and it's a living hell for me. I have also changed the names to protect the GUILTY for fear of being sued by these assholes - or from having the 2 psychos come after me again. You'll see what I mean.

It all started about 12 years (then) best friend Laura and her boyfriend (also a nut-job) Gerald, introduced me to their neighbor/good friend (Josh). It was incidentally Gerald's best friend - go figure, right?

Laura was hosting an event through her work. We all decided it would be a good thing if I met Josh there, a public place. I don't do blind dates - did it once and it was horrible. So Laura introduces me to Josh. We meet, talk for a bit, and then I walk around to look at the different booths and my favorite NASCAR driver's car (Terry LaBonte). I had one of guys there take pictures of me standing next to the car while Josh walked around and began to imbibe far too much of the amber beverages.

I was in hog heaven admiring my favorite driver's car, asking the guy who was in charge a million questions, when Josh walks up and asks me to walk around with him so we can talk. No problem, that would be nice to talk and get to know him...after all he IS kinda cute and charming, even though he's a bit on the hefty side. That's when I realized he was totally shit-faced. Fan-f*cking-tastic! What a way to make a first impression.

I spotted Laura and broke away from Josh for a minute and asked her "what the hell are you doing? This guy is drunk as hell!" She assured me that it was ok and a fluke thing. She said Josh and Gerald had been out earlier fishing and drinking...and you know how boys get. Ok, I'll give him a chance - remember, I trusted Laura who was supposed to be my best friend. Laura and I were extremely close.

It gets better...after being there for a few hours, I decide to go home because I was still in my work clothes (this event was after work), it was starting to get dark and I was exhausted. Plus by this time, Josh is so f*cked up that he is becoming an embarassment and LOUD. I said good-bye to Laura and Josh walked me to my car. He tells me to wait a minute, walks between two cars and right in front of God and everyone...pisses into the street! WTF?! Oh hell no. I left right then and there. Later on I called Laura and asked her what the hell Josh's malfunction is and if he's nuts. She says no and apologizes profusely.

Laura calls me up a few days later and invites me to come over for a cookout. Sure, no problem, I'd love to go. Plus I wanted to spend some time with Laura anyway. I went there all the time for cookouts, to watch movies, or just hang out with Laura and Gerald (when he's there). I show up with dessert and guess who is sitting in the backyard with Gerald? Yeaaa you guessed it...Josh. Oh shit, talk about an awkward situation. And I can't leave because they've all already seen me. Ok, let's make the best of this.

Gerald walks up and gives me a big hug (as usual), then re-introduces me to Josh. Josh apologizes profusely for his abominable behavior at the event and swears he doesn't act like that - it was the alcohol. So we all sit down in the backyard and just talk about anything and everything. My, my, my Josh is quite the charmer. Who knew? Plus he did clean up well and looked smashing in his jeans and sleeveless shirt, which showed off his muscles and tattoos. Or maybe it was the brown hair and brown eyes that got me too...either way, I was intrigued.

Josh asked me out for a date and I accepted. Laura and Gerald were quite pleased with themselves for setting us up. The four of us had quite a bit of fun double dating, having more cookouts at Laura and Gerald's house, going canoeing (girls in one and guys in the other!) and fishing.

It was a great courtship and Josh seemed like a great guy. He was attentive, caring, protective and was an absolute gentleman (I know, hard to believe after that first impression). After a few months, we talked at great length with Laura and Gerald (just to get an outside opinion) about the two of us (me & Josh) moving in together. Oh my gosh...Laura and Gerald could not have been happier about our decision. They thought it was the best thing in the world. Hey, if my best friend is for it and she's happy...what can go wrong?

Part 2 - tomorrow...stay tuned and please sign up to "follow" me. If you'd like to leave comments, I'd be thrilled. It's nice to know that there are folks out there reading my life story.

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